Resolutions

by Hannah

1. Be on time to work
I don’t even want to admit how many times I’ve clocked in late this last year. Completely unacceptable. Makes me feel like a bad employee. A bad person. Who wants that? So how will I accomplish this goal? Make a point to be more aware of time on a regular basis. Catch myself slipping in “just this one last thing” or “just five more minutes” of whatever.

2. Track the year with a daily blog post
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: If three quarters or what I write is total shit, that’s still more than ninety decent posts. A haiku would be sufficient on exhausted days. A single word that paints the sum of the day’s parts, on days when even three lines feels like climbing Everest. I want to do this for myself because I haven’t been able to keep a regular blog for years and years, and because I believe this is going to be an important year for me. (P.S. After midnight counts. Sometimes, a day becomes a run-on sentence and I have no reason to fight that.)

3. Complete the twelve weeks of The Artist’s Way sometime this year
I’ve started this wonderful course in spirituality and creativity several times, and I think I’m on the brink of sinking my knuckles in deep (as in a mound of dough) and working through the weeks sequentially and completely. I may start and stop again a few times, but I intend to get through it this year. I think it will change my life. I began yesterday, again.

4. Take more responsibility for cooking meals at home
Home cooked meals are about as important to me as breathing right now. I crave local food and the sensuous act of chopping vegetables and seasoning a stewpot, whole grains and bleeding meat sliced with a self-sharpened knife. I crave cooking slowly and intentionally, taking the time to make food that is truly good for the body and soul. And I am tired of feeling guilty for spending too much hard-earned (and badly needed) cash on food prepared by someone else. I want desperately to know my food, inside and out, from start to finish. How will I accomplish this? Work on getting my kitchen set up. Get the water flowing, buy a stainless steel cookware set and a few more good knives. Make the time for cooking. Clip recipes. Be patient with myself as I learn.

5. Continually create myself
Last year I learned that I have deeper to fall than I ever thought possible, and that I have the ability to climb out of darker holes I ever thought existed – with stumbles and grace all at once. I learned that I don’t find myself; I create myself. I don’t want to lose this lesson. I am never stuck in something lesser; I don’t have to wait to “find myself” or wait for my life to “get better.” Yesterday I read: “We become what we envisage” and I know this to be true. (Claude M. Bristol said this.) I will accomplish this resolution by remembering these two truths.

6. Start running with the dog
I’ve got a lot to learn about discipline* and follow-through, especially with exercise, so I’m not expecting to do a 5K in three months or anything. Just to start running. Keep running. See where that takes me. Maybe I’ll just make it out with my sneakers once this month. Maybe I’ll manage to chase the fog three mornings a week. I’m leaving this one to the breezes of chance and change and time.

7. Create monthly and weekly health goals that reflect my overarching desires
I just got incredibly sleepy from expounding upon these resolutions. This is pretty damn self-explanatory anyway.

*Someone recently defined it for me so well. Discipline: the organization of
desire.

(Georgia O’Keefe, ‘Pelvis with Moon’)

“In the old world, bees were known to be prophetic.” Our bees are dying so fast that we’re shipping them to the US from Australia via airplane. Have been for years. Vanishing of the Bees is possibly the most important movie for our time that I have seen.

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